The Seance Newsletter

Thoughts from Suzane

Welcome to the merry month of May! May is clearly one of my favorite month - notwithstanding the fact that May is the month of my birthday!

Of course, the biggest event in May is usually Mothers Day - the most "phone-called" day of the year, even beyond Christmas! Of course, if your mom has passed over, especially if recently, Mothers Day can be a very difficult holiday. And for all those who have lost a mother or mother figure recently, my heart goes out to you.

I know from my years of work connecting with mothers on the Other Side, and with those women who fulfilled the motherly role in one way or another while they were here in the physical, mothering is a job that affects all of our relationships. So never underestimate the power of a mother and her effect upon you. If you get to feeling like you've been stuck with a not-so-great mother, here's a little tidbit - you chose her! Yes, those of you who have been with me for some time have heard me say it before: we choose our parents. So stop complaining, because you choose her! For those in a difficult relationship with mother, try to grow from the experience, if nothing else.

In the big picture, it makes all the sense in the world for you to be the child of the mother you chose because that relationship sets the standard for your learning and relationships. Chances are you need to develop along that path, no matter how difficult at times. How you treat others, respect, responsibility, and kindness are all characteristics that we learn from our mothers. You only have to go to the market or walk down the street and see mothers interact with their children to note how those women are leaving an indelible mark on their kids - the way that your mother put her marks on you.

I'm sure many of you have experienced this: whenever a Sunday comes along, if there has been something traditionally set up by your significant other with his or her mother, it is very difficult to get them to break out of that pattern. I have a dear friend whose partner simply has to see his mother for dinner every Sunday no matter what. The couple has been together for over eight years and things have not changed in this regard. So my friend has decided not to plan anything with her partner for Sundays, and to fight only the battles that are winnable - asking her partner skip an occasional Sunday dinner with Mom is off the table!

One thing I would like to point out is that being a "mother" doesn't necessarily mean you have to have given birth to the child you are mothering. I have met so many woman who could easily claim that role, without ever having borne children. I can't tell you how many sessions I've had where I will share a mother's presence coming through, only to learn that the woman was not the biological mother, but the woman who was accepted as a mother and who acted that part. That may be just part of your choosing as well. That is, you may have chosen a particular woman to be your biological mother, because it would present you with an opportunity to have her mother be the one who to raise you, such as President Barack Obama experienced with his maternal grandmother who had a major influence in his life. I assure you she is not the only grandmother who has taken on that role. Make no mistake about it: this choice helps mold a person into what they will become, how they live, to what extent they can excel, and how they are able to nurture or serve others.

I am reminded over and over again that ultimately we are here to serve others and what could be a better role-model than a "mother" who devoted so much of her time to care for and nurture you? I assure you if that element was lacking in your life, you will seek to fill in that gap. During your process, remember that all mothers are human, and that to be human is to err.

Even though Mothers Day has just passed, I would suggest that you take a moment today and whenever else it suits you, to honor all those "motherly" figures who make a difference in the world - regardless of the technical definition of mother. No offense to the men out there but it is the women who are the nurturers in our society. They are the ones who need to be respected more and acknowledged for the great work they do - without pay I might add - because it is they who make this a more caring world.

Finally, these sentiments need not be reserved for Hallmark. Let us never forget those mothers and mother figures who give so much, day in and day out, healing and taking care of their children, touching their lives with love each and every day.

Warmly,
Suzane